About two weeks before I found out I was pregnant, I decided to quit my job. I thought it was killing me. And to be fair, it probably was, in its own way. Even a healthy 22 year old should attend a full day of class, bike at least 8 kilomenters (sometimes more) then work 6-7 hours on her feet serving tables until the wee hours of the morning, then bike home, get up, repeat, repeat. And if she does, symptoms like fatigue, stomach upset, irritability and headaches should be a surprise. But by November I'd had enough. Not only was this situation the norm, but it was yielding crappy, bottom-of-the-barrel tips in what turned out to be primarily a student bar, where cheap wings and pitcher deals drew scholar wanna-bes with over-inflated senses of entitlement like moths to a flame, and good tips were rarer than real leather at Payless. Do I sound bitter?
But I digress. So I gave my notice. Final papers, exams and Christmas were looming and I needed time to prepare for all of it. I wasn't accomplishing much when lack of sleep meant every well-meaning trip to the library resulted in me napping at a desk, and drooling all over my papers. I even fell asleep in class. In the front row. And for what? $60/night, maybe. So I gave my notice and built up a big calendar in my head with my last shift labeleld FREEDOM DAY, and I scratched off each cursed day I spent a waitress with unbridled glee.
A week later, I took a pregnancy test in the library bathroom. By the time we'd made a decision about this baby, I'd worked my last shift. I never told my co-workers. Everything was so muddled in my head that I was dragging myself through each day in an inwardly-turned fog, and nothing about work mattered enough to register.
But then money stopped coming in. I was sort of prepared-I had a bit of an umbrella, and I knew between that and OSAP, I would be able to make it to summer, when I could get a new job. ANYTHING but serving. So Christmas passed, and Christmas break, and the first weeks back to school. But now, my umbrella is gone, my OSAP isn't in until Monday, work is slow for Taz and I'm trying to wrap my head around the term "overdraft". I have my last $20 sitting in my wallet, and I'm reluctant to break it, because once I do, I know its gone. My financial well has never, ever been this dry.
To date, For Financial Reasons:
1. We took the car off the road, to save on gas and insurance. The bus is free for me anyway. Free, and late half the time.
2. The dog is eating Nutrience, not Science Diet, and the cat is eating IAMS, not Royal Canine. Taz says the Nutrience tastes the same and Science Diet anyway, and I'll take his word for it. We saved $40 on pet food this month.
3. We have eaten out once since before Christmas. This is usually a weekly occasion, and dammit, I miss it more than I thought I would!
4. We've called Australia once since Christmas
5. No Internet, no t.v.
6. No maternity clothes, except the pair of jeans and two shirts I got for Christmas. This isn't a big deal yet, but it soon will be.
7. No textbooks yet, despite it being the end of week two, and I'm falling behind in my readings.
8. Taz and I had a fight about how much meat to buy, and whether I should pay for it, since he eats 85% of it anyway. We had this fight, in the grocery store. That was embarrassing.
9. No credit card payment, which is due today. I hate this worst of all.
I think about trying to get my job back, every once in a while. For Financial Reasons, see. But what sports bar wants a pregnant server? And more importantly, what pregnant woman wants to work in a sports bar? Not me! Do you know how tight our uniforms were?
Tell you what though, this pregnant woman is starting to have anxiety dreams, and they all involve bad things happening to her, For Financial Reasons.
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