The mommy moments

I've had a couple moments so far when despite the curtain of fatigue it comes through crystal clear: I'm a mommy now.

The first one came with Amelia's first at home poopy diaper.  She went more than 36 hours before she graced us with a mustard poop and I was starting to get worried.  When it came, it was 36 hours worth, and more.  Relief was quickly followed with a sinking feeling of dismay.  For those of you who have been reading along, we have committed to cloth diapers, and this butt-load (pun intended) of yellow crap had to be dealt with differently than if it was a disposable.  The cloth diaper had to be rinsed.  In the toilet bowl.  So here I was, bent over the toilet, both hands swirling around in a toilet bowl with the consistency of pea soup, and it occurred to me that I will probably do this thousands of times in the next year.  I'm a mommy now.

The cloth diapering is going well, overall.  I've learned how to successfully fasten a snappi on the first try, because by attempt number two, we have an unhappy little monster on our hands.  I've managed to restrain my laughter when daddy lines up the diaper cover backwards. Or sideways.  He always gets it, eventually.

The second mommy moment came on our drive back to Belmore from Kingston.  Just me and Amelia.  Talk about a nerve-wracking 12 hours! It was stinking, stupid hot, and the A/C in my Subaru just couldn't compete.  Amelia was fussing to be fed every two hours on the dot, and one of those fusses started when I was stuck in a construction zone just past Napanee.  Fussing turned to crying, and crying turned to screaming, and I was stuck in a long line of cars with absolutely NO movement, and no way to explain to my baby why I wasn't picking her up and making her feel better.  The minutes passed with agonizing slowness, and I eventually broke down and cried along with her, since there was nothing else I could do.  We both had swollen eyes by the time we got out of the car.  I'm a mommy now-her pain is my pain.

Someday I will tell her about how we carted her across Ontario when she was barely a week old, and what a trooper she was, and how proud I am of her for that.  I will tell her about how she slept through her first two Tim Horton's visits, and how she charmed all the little old ladies over lunch.

I'll tell her not to try it as a teenager, but when she was brand new, the first few times she cried, her mom cried too.