Oh Maternal Feelings, Where Art Thou?

Hey all,
I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, because a) I think it goes against every single thing I was planning on feeling while I was pregnant (albeit 5-6 years from now) and b) I haven't read a single other pregnancy blog that expresses this.....this....
ambivalence.

There, I said it.  Sometimes, I think there is something wrong with me, because I don't have this spouting fountain of gushy love feelings towards my unborn child.  I don't dislike it, or have negative emotions....its just....a black indescribable void of nothingness. I have a more concrete emotional position on what I want for dinner than how I feel towards this baby of mine.

I read in my pregnancy book last night that talking to your unborn child is considered important for pre-birth bonding for both mother and child. They say it doesn't have to be a meaningful conversation, you can just describe what you are doing. So I gave it an experimental try, even though I have a few weeks until Bean will be able to hear. My first groundbreaking conversation with my daughter/son....and I talked about the weather.....for about 10 seconds, then felt silly and shut up.

I suck at this. I can talk to my dog for 10 minutes, but can't work around the silly feelings enough to talk to my own child.

Are my feelings related to it being an unplanned pregnancy? God, I hope not.  Everyone that even hears me hinting at how I have been feeling says things like "Oh, as soon as you see your baby for the first time, you will be just over the moon," (lady at my yarn store) and "Your maternal instincts will kick right in; you are so much like me in that sense" (my mother).  But I thought I was supposed to be able to compose a comprehensive list of dreams and plans and goals for my baby off the top of my head by now, and be fairly able to articulate how thrilled baby makes me feel.  Last night Taz took me out to Milestones for dinner, and we ran into some old workmates of mine who I haven't seen in a few months.  At one point, the girl beside me gushed, "You must be just SO excited!" and looked at me expectantly.  It took me a while to respond, because I had my nose buried deep into Taz's glass of red wine (my new forbidden fruit) and I was inhaling hungrily.  I looked at her, and said all the right things.  Because, really, how would you feel if someone responded with "Sometimes, most times, actually, it doesn't feel real at all.  Then the bricks of reality crash land on me, I remember, and I move on from there."