I jumped ship!!

From now on, this blog is hosted at Tumblr.  I wanted a prettier design than Blogger could offer me, and I think I found it.   Here is the link: BeaverRoo's new home
See you all there!

Oh mother!

This house is full of mothers these days.


Mom's mom, my Nannie is here visiting for three weeks.

My older sister Jenny swung in for a visit from St. Thomas with her youngest Averee.

My younger sister and brother came for a visit, as well as my oldest Fawn, and suddenly the place has become FULL of love, laughter, and, well.... a lot of noise.

Its also full of advice.  With this many mommas, the combined years of experience is staggering.  Everyone has ideas and suggestions for every single peep Amelia makes.  I'm finding it alternately very helpful, and reassuring when something I am worrying about gets explained to me, but also outrageously confusing.


The thing is, with motherhood spanning three different generations, the advice gets pretty varied.  You have a non-spanking sister contrasted with a nannie who believed a 4 month old baby will definitely deserve and understand a swat on the leg when she fusses.   I didn't know there were so many different ways to burp a baby and everyone has their own way of calming her down when she is screaming.   I do all the feedings and changings myself, so we are mostly advice free on the breastfeeding front, but the colic-like crying symptoms have brought out the most advice nuggets.  My sister swears her son's colic went away when she switched to formula instead of breast feeding.  My nannie says that when mom had colic, a bottle with a few ounces of rye, warmed with a bit of sugar put her right to sleep.

Yeah. Because you had a drunk baby.  I declined her offer to try this remedy, and I tried to do it respectfully, because in her days of motherhood, this type of thing was probably completely normal.  Besides, the important things remain the same over the years.  Every single momma here believes in unconditional love, soothing a baby when she cries, and the mommy-baby bond that is special like no other.  Its amazing to see how Amelia can somehow sense when she is in competent arms; she promptly falls right to sleep every time.

Love drunk, milk drunk, but not drunk-drunk.

Every generation of mothers has something that we all look back on, and judge, and agree was really really silly, if not downright dangerous.  We keep trying to give our babies a safer and healthier start to life and we do it with the best of intentions.   I wonder what mothering practice of our generation future mothers will look back on and say "God, that was DUMB.  What were they thinking? I won't be doing that!"

One Month

Daughter of Mine,

Where does the time go? I can NOT believe you are already a month old.  Though the days are a blur, I have to take the time to jot some things down now, while they are still fresh and clear in my mind, because this time is fleeting and precious and you are changing every single day

Parental Pride - I'm sure this is the same for all parents, but your dad and I are SO incredibly proud of you.  Everywhere we go, when people stop to look at you, we can't help but puff our chests out a bit, and smile like fools.  You are by far the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen, and we are enthralled with your big blue eyes and your cleft chin, and your gorgeous long nails.   We applaud your burps and cheer about your poops.

Coos and Cries and the In-Betweens - This month you communicate with us through a series of different cries, and the occasional coos.  At first, they all sounded the same to me, but through trial and error, I have learned to distinguish between them.  Now I know the difference between "I'm hungry, feed me" "I have serious gas" and "I'm wet, change me".  You are starting to coo more and more.  I don't know if you do it deliberately yet, but it's still pretty cute either way.

Big and Strong- Both doctor's that have seen you so far have commented on how strong you are for a newborn.  You can lift your head up and turn it from side to side during tummy time.  You have a healthy pair of lungs on you too.  Every day you get a little bit bigger.  You have new rolls on your arms and legs, and you no longer fit into your newborn onesies.  Even your face has changed!

Hard Yakka - I've heard people say motherhood is the hardest job there is.  It is certainly the most intense one I have ever had! You are my first and only priority 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  But this month has been the most rewarding of my life.  When I look at your peaceful face as you are sleeping, or when I comfort you when you cry, I feel like I am accomplishing something tangible and important.  You are our Mia, our pumpkin, our fuss-a-muss, our monkey, our world.  Happy one month darling.
Love,
Mom

Big City Girl

This week, Amelia and I took our second trip to Kingston to visit Taz, who has been working at the Tir Na Nog in the city since August 1st.  I've missed him like crazy, and impatiently counted down the days until we saw each other.  The only problem that had me worried was the driving.  The last trip on my own was really difficult, and that was before Amelia started to have gas-related crying for long periods.  So this time I decided to take the VIA rail train from Stratford.  That reduced our driving time from 12 hours to an hour and a half, and the overall traveling time from twelve hours to six and a half.

The one downside? Hauling a baby's worth of stuff out of a car, onto a train, and onto a different train in Toronto.  Babies have a lot of gear!  I'm sure it looked a bit comical - one woman hauling a stroller, car seat, diaper bag, duffel bag, camera bag, and purse, with a baby strapped to her front in a baby carrier.  Of course, Amelia always chose the boarding time to start to fuss and cry, so every time I hauled my stroller, bags and self into a train, it was with a screaming baby attached to my chest.  Every. Single. Time.

Still, it was worth it to see Taz.  This is the longest we have been apart since he came to Canada two years ago, and it was especially hard with the new baby.  We took advantage of the couple of full days he had off, and spent them together enjoying the city.

We went out to lunch at the lovely Pan Chanchos.

Amelia slept, and then woke up and looked around calmly while we ate our lunch

At a table nearby, a foursome had a one year old boy.  He would NOT sit still for a single minute during the meal and his mom spent her lunch alternately chasing him around the patio and carrying him on her hip trying to distract him.  The server offered to bring her crayons, and she replied "No thanks. He'll eat them."  I thought to myself, "that's my very near future.  Lordy."

We also spent an afternoon in a city park by the water just watching the waves roll in and the world go by while Amelia dozed in her stroller in the shade.  It was the most relaxed we have been together in months, and very revitalizing for our relationship.  Stress is NOT good.

I also got to visit with two of my closest friends in the world. Both for MUCH too short a time, but still, it was lovely to get some face to face time, and catch up for what will probably be the last time before I take off for Australia.

I am grateful for our friendship with Rhonda, who is putting hubby up for the majority of August.  She was so helpful to Amelia and I while we were there, giving us rides downtown and to the train station for the return trip, and making us feel very welcome in her home.   Her cat Chloe was adorable, and reminded me of how much I miss Peach.

What else? I tried Menchies frozen yogurt for the first time.  It's a neat concept of paying based on the weight of your yogurt, and it tasted ok, but I got seriously spoiled by the gelato in Australia, and now nothing else really compares.  Also, through an accidental spill, I discovered that Amelia in fact does NOT appreciate having frozen yogurt dropped onto her head.

We got good use out of the portable changing pad on the trip.  This is a diaper change in a little park off of Johnson Street

The long hours downtown meant that in addition to the diaper changes, we encountered some public feedings by necessity.  I breastfed in 2 restaurants, on 3 park benches and during one ride on a city bus.  I'm getting pretty used to whipping a boob out in public, though its a far cry from parading around on a picnic table at the Woolshed.  Oh, how things change...

I got to say farewell to a lot of places around the city that were old haunts of mine.  El Asador's where you get the best burritos in town and the owner still remembers what my usual is.  The bubble tea spot where I have literally spent hundreds of dollars and never kept a stamp card long enough to earn a free tea (buy 10, get one free. That is, unless you lose the damn thing)  I walked around a quiet Queen's campus and ran into an ex boyfriend of mine from first year in the library.  First year is so long ago now and we both have changed so much.  I'm a wife and mother moving to Australia, he's a teacher heading up to the Yukon in a few weeks.  I wish I'd had more time to talk to him.  I wanted to catch up on the years in between.

Kingston was a big part of my formative years.  It was my first big city, my first apartment on my own.  I had a lot of learning experiences there, made a few big mistakes, and a lot of memories.  I'm very glad I got to share it with Amelia, even though she won't remember it.  It's ok. We have the pictures to show her in years to come.

Yes dear, you DID make this face in public.  And we loved it.

"WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"

is the written interpretation of the sound a gassy baby makes.  Interestingly, it is also the written representation of the noise a woman makes when she realizes that her all time favourite pair of 4" black high heels, the ones that make any outfit look twice as sexy, the ones that have taken her through years of schooling, partying, and strutting, and fit her like a glove......

........now fit her post-partum feet like O. J. Simpson's glove.  

Its a sad, sad sound.

Go To Sleep You Little Baby

AnLast night Amelia woke up at 2 a.m. hungry and wet.  We nursed, and I changed her, but she was wide awake after, and fussy.  Nothing was working - not lying belly to belly, not the swing, not burping while walking.  Every few seconds her face would scrunch up and turn bright red, and she would YELL.   Mom's in Stratford for a visit with her best friend, and dad had left that afternoon for a run to Edmonton, so it was just the two of us in the house and I was stumped.  Then I remembered lullabies.

Now, I don't consider myself a good singer, and I don't sing in front of anyone except my dog.  However, I've read that babies aren't judgmental, so I took a shot at it, and dug up the only lullaby lyrics I could remember at 3 a.m.

And it worked!!!  She stopped crying, and focused on my face and just stared and stared.  I sang this song 14 or 15 times non stop (I lost count) as I rocked back and forth in the bedroom.  I watched her eyes get heavier and heavier, and eventually they stayed closed.  By the 12th or 13th time through, the wrinkles on her brow smoothed out, and she was breathing evenly and slowly.  Then I very slowly, very carefully, laid her down.  I had just rocked, soothed, and sang my crying baby to sleep for the first time, and it was the most amazing feeling of accomplishment. By 4:10, we were both sleeping soundly. At 5:12, she gave a good loud holler of hunger, and we began again. But that's ok.  Every day I learn new skills and slowly we will figure out this sleeping thing.  In the meantime, an hour at a time is going to have to do for me.  I've come to the conclusion that motherhood really is the hardest, most beautiful thing I will ever accomplish. 

Necessity is The Mother of Invention, Yet Again

With babies comes a whole new list of swear words.  For me, the top one right now: GAS.  Things ramped up two days ago, and they haven't settled down, and its all thanks to that one ugly little word.
My GOD, the crying and the screaming.  Amelia's vocal cords reach a whole new pitch, which tweaks something deep in my heart, and an urgent message is sent to my brain: "Fix this. NOW!"

Bouncing is the fix-it solution.  Baby can either be bounced in someone's arms, or bounced in an apparatus.  Choose whatever you like, but during a gas attack, baby must not be still, or screaming will commence.   I have a baby swing, but it doesn't bounce, just sways back and forth.  And carrying all the time isn't practical- we would need a livingroom full of grandmothers to keep her jiggled and happy in someone's arms whenever the dreaded gas attacks.

So Noanie and I built our own bouncing baby seat.  Behold:

Half a jolly jumper + 1 car seat = pure genius.  The best part? This is my bedroom doorframe, and though you can't see it, there is a long leash attached to the bottom of the car seat that runs through an O-ring on the floor, and the leash reaches my bed.  This means I can bounce her while laying down at night. 

That's right. Amelia sleeps in this thing for about 3-4 hours, usually between midnight and 3 a.m. Its not a bassinette or a crib, the two places babies are "supposed" to sleep at night but man, judge not lest ye be saddled with a gassy baby.